CMA says..
Ideas for people who aim for negotiation and communication skills excellence
How to be assertive without being aggressive
The problem: “I’m coordinating an office-remodeling project with an assertive colleague. I’m the opposite; I usually give in. The problem is that I disagree with her approach. How can I stand my ground?”
During a recent negotiation skills workshop, a participant asked us to help them deal with a colleague who was more assertive than themselves. Here’s a summary of our advice..
Good question. But to answer it, we must go back to a more fundamental question: What’s your negotiation mindset?
In CMA’s negotiation skills workshop, we discuss the importance of meeting your counterpart’s needs. For some participants, this mindset is a revelation. But for those of us in the conflict-avoider camp, the other side of this goal bears re-emphasis: we also need our own interests met.
It’s not that anyone disagrees with this notion. Who doesn’t want their own needs met? It’s just that people sometimes feel uncomfortable doing it in practice – especially when it appears to be at the expense of someone else’s needs.
And herein lies the problem. People who are afraid to advocate for their needs often operate within an old paradigm. It says: every time I meet my needs, it’s a loss for you; and every time you meet your needs, it’s a loss for me. In fact, the most effective negotiators adopt a fundamentally different mind-set: they realise that with a bit of systematic, creative thinking, it’s often possible to meet both parties’ needs.
To put this mindset into practice, be systematic about driving options from both parties’ interests. Draw up a list of your project interests (e.g. usability, efficient use of space, expense, aesthetics, etc) and also consider your colleague’s interests. Then, when you meet with your colleague, have her clarify those interests. Finally, put the two sets of interests in front of both of you, and ask: “How can we meet each of these interests together?” You’ll be surprised at the innovative solutions that emerge!
Have you had a similar issue? Did you resolve it in a way which left all parties feeling satisfied? Let us know..
The team at CMA
6 tips for managing non-face-to-face communications
Tagged in communication, effective communication, how-to
Whether managing teams across borders, cities or offices, or because we simply don’t have time to meet face-to-face, the reality is that much of our communication now occurs remotely. While phones provides audio, we lose the visual cues and context afforded in a face-to-face meeting.
One may think that putting the other on mute while responding to e-mails and otherwise saving the world is a great way to maximize efficiency by multitasking, but the reality is that non-face-to-face communication creates a greater risk for miscommunication by allowing greater scope for distraction and misunderstanding. But given that remote communication a reality of this day and age…what can we do about it?
Acknowledge both the aim and the challenge – if opening a multi-party conference call, frame the aim as being able to understand one another accurately and work together effectively. Actively acknowledge the challenges of losing visual cues, not having the same context for the meeting and together adopt some guidelines for how you can communicate effectively, despite the inherent challenge.
Be their eyes in the room – unless and until you are able to recognize individual voices, it is hard to distinguish who has spoken. If you are on a group call, make it easy for others to know who is speaking by identifying yourself before commenting. For better or worse, facial expression and physical behaviours (nods or other things going on in the room) are usually inaudible on the other end of the line. Help them understand what is going on by narrating the actions.
Check what the silences mean – if you hear silence on the other end, don’t assume that you know what it means. Silence could be their be confusion, consent, distraction or something entirely different. Don’t make the costly mistake of assuming that silence is golden; check your understanding rather than assuming it’s fine to move on.
Work from one text – if you are referencing documents in your conversation, make sure all parties are looking at the same document. Send files prior to the meeting and verify that both literally and figuratively, you are on the same page.
Use the tools available to you – technology now affords a variety of mediums that help close the gap created in non-face-to-face communications. Video conference and screen-sharing, among others, provide visual cues and common data that help bridge the gap. Also, arrange to meet in person when possible. Face time, however limited, can help build relationships and provide data points from which communication calibration can better occur.
Train your teams – it can initially seem counterintuitive or annoying to have to identify yourself before you speak or take extra care in communicating. Yet our clients who have adapted these behaviours will tell you that they’ve become second nature over time and are a worthwhile investment in avoiding the costs that result from poor communication.
The CMA team
How have your and your organisation addressed communication issues impacted by indirect interaction?
The key to gaining buy-in
Tagged in influence, stakeholder management
It can be a real trick to gain cooperation or buy-in from others. If you’re bringing a new project to someone, asking a request, or asking for new resources, one of the factors that is going to go through their mind is, “How much extra work is this going to mean for me?” Today, the expectations are higher than ever before – we are trying to do more with less. So how can we effectively get initial levels of engagement?
Start with the heart
The advice is to start with the heart! What does this mean? Essentially, this is about being clear in your mind as to what you’re trying to achieve and then being able to articulate to others the big picture goal. For example, let’s say you’ve created a business case demonstrating why your organisation should expand your Sydney office. In response to your proposal, your stakeholders are likely to focus on the details such as: how many resources do we need, how much is it going to cost, what’s the lead time before we expect them to be producing output? Despite these questions, it’s critical to engage your stakeholders first with the broader aim of what you’re trying to achieve – the big picture goal or vision. Is it that ultimately this is about trying to expand your business in a way that is going to make the organisation more compelling to your market than anybody else? Is it about taking your product to the next level so that customers can change the way they do business? Unless you engage your stakeholders (and their hearts), you risk even greater resistance from the outset.
The second question is, do you really care? This is a threshold question. And if you care, can others tell? If it’s obvious that you don’t care about your vision, then you’re less likely to influence important stakeholders and get them on board. If people are going to input their energy and time into your proposal or request, they’re much more likely to do so if they feel inspired by your vision and can see how committed you are to achieving it!
Passion is infectious. To quote Gandhi, “You must be the change you want to see in the world before you expect anybody else to change.” If you haven’t sold yourself on the idea, then why on earth would others believe you? When you appear to be sold yourself, you instantly become a much more powerful influencer.
Good luck!
The CMA team
CMA runs regular programs on influencing skills and stakeholder management throughout Australia.
